The Fateful Day When A Plane Went Missing

Today I woke up to discover that a Malaysian Airlines flight from KL to Beijing went missing. Until the time that I'm writing this it is still not known what happened to the plane. The fate of the 239 passengers and crew on board is unknown.

This has taken me back to a time that I was still married and when my then husband was travelling a lot. There was a period when he was travelling the world often and I could not go with him due to work. 

I remember always having that feeling in the deepest pit of my stomach when he boarded a plane that there might be just that little chance that I might not ever see him again. I know it's irrational but it was still there. I never told him this, not ever. Would it be the last kiss, last hug or last goodbye ? Well obviously it wasn't but looking back the fear was very real.

Weirdly I didn't have a fear of flying. I think if it happened to me it was ok because it would be me that was leaving and not someone I loved leaving me. Ironically that someone I loved left me anyways but that's another story. 

To the loved ones of those on the flight waiting to hear news my heart goes out to you. Never would there be a more desperate time then this. I think news any news at this time good or bad would provide relieve. It's the uncertainty that is the worse.

My Photos

I've been told that I have an eye for photography. I've never been to any classes and I just photograph what I see. The thing is I just love taking pictures.

With my DSLR with my compact camera or even my iPhone. Nothing like the satisfaction of taking a good photo. I guess it's an outlet for my creativity since my everyday life is not very creative. Of course my favourite smartphone app is Instagram 😃.

My version of the Twin Towers.

My favourite subject is the KL city skyline. Must be because I'm in the Construction industry.

Taken on my drive to work. 

My most favourite time is sunset and sunrise. You can find the most magnificent colours at those times.

To me anytime is a photo op. Mostly while in a jam going or coming back from work. 

Aisya Humairah

This is Aisya Humaira she is four and she's the closest thing I have to a child. 

Aisya's mommy is Ms D and I've known Aisya ever since her mommy waited at the hospital for her arrival and brought her home. You see Aisya is adopted. I do not know who her biological parents are. All I know is that she is very much loved by her mommy Ms D. 

Aisya has no father as Ms D is single but whatever love she is lacking from a Dad is made up from all the love she gets from everyone else and especially her number one fan Aunty Lina, me.

What I'm trying to get is to not judge a child from where she comes from or what her status is. A child is innocent and her parents' sin has nothing to do with her. A child is a blank piece of paper that will be shaped by the ones who love her. 

Aunty Lina loves you baby and may you bless everyone you meet with your cuteness. 

Holding my breath

Have you ever had that feeling like you're going through life holding your breath and all you want to do is to just let go ? 

I've been feeling like that lately. When I feel like the water works are coming I hold my breath until the feeling goes away. When I feel like I'm going to explode with anger I hold my breath. 

I'm always told that I am a strong woman, to be strong, to suck it up. That is what I do and that is what I will continue to do but there are times that I don't want to be strong. I want someone to lean on and be strong for me. For just a while a minute, an hour or a day. Just a little while. Then I will be strong again.  

I just want to let the breath I'm holding go.

I'm such a girl !

I like cars maybe a bit more than the average woman. I appreciate driving a car made for performance and love the feeling. I own such a car though an entry level one. I did not buy the car because of its make but because of how it drove. However I'm not an expert and I'm only familiar with the average car ie. cars that are somewhat in my price range. I do not know anything about cars that cost more than a semi detached house in KL and I do not watch the F1.

Yesterday I was at a mall that was exhibiting such cars. This is a conversation between Ms L and myself while looking at one of these cars.

Me : oh what a beautiful colour on a car it's so red. I think it would look really nice on my car don't you think ?

Ms L : yea I love it so red and shiny

Me : eh what car is it ah ? Don't recognise the badge.

Ms L : it's a McLaren lah

Me : how do you know ?

Ms L : cos it's written on the back lah !

Me : Duh ....

Point of the story I'm such a girl that I don't even know what a McLaren looks like and wasn't even impressed by the looks & design. I was instead being a typical girl and was fascinated by the colour!

How I'd like to be known

How people describe me when I'm not there is something that's important to me. It's not that I want to be described as beautiful, or wealthy or classy or even clever. Instead I'd like to be known as being the one with a kind heart. I want to be known as being helpful and caring. I want to be known as someone that makes people happy. 

Is there such thing as happily ever after ?

I often question this, is there really a happily ever after and has anyone found it ? As a child I like many other little girls was introduced to fairy tales. In fact one of the first things that I could remember was Snow White. My parents being quite progressive way back then decided that they would read to me every night before bed. These were of course damsels and princess in trouble that were saved by the forever charming princes and then continued their lives happily ever after.

Was I conditioned as a child to find my happily ever after ? Was I told at an early age that my life would not be complete without my own Prince Charming ? In my case it was thought he was a keeper but he turned into a creeper :D

Society especially those in Asia still thinks that a woman must settled down, get married and have babies. Try being a single woman at weddings. Relatives always assume your business is their business and will always mercilessly question a single woman when will it be their turn ? When are we going to attend your wedding they ask. It is always the single woman who has never married that is targeted. Thank God divorced women are not. It's not as if they plan to play matchmaker, at least in my family anyway.

So can a single woman find happiness without a man ? For sure she can. You don't need a man to make you happy ladies but if you have a good man that's a bonus 😀.